Hirsute Sea Bass

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The blog is dead. Long live the blog!

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Low class high class

Brilliant idea hatched at the bar last night: Invite people to a "Wine and Cheese" party, make it sound all swanky, etc., and then when they show up present them with a table full of Kraft Singles and Franzia.

Monday, October 29, 2007

Dear Carmelina's Taqueria,

You use fake cheese on your nachos!!! Why??????? I fucking hate fake cheese! You use real cheese on your quesadillas and burritos; why can't you use it on your nachos too? I totally did not see this coming.

I mean, if I'm going to be so unhealthy as to eat nachos for dinner, I at least want the pleasure of having gobs of real cheese alongside my black beans, peppers, and chunks of chicken. What I don't want is that space age orange liquid--which doesn't even actually deserve to be called fake cheese, because that suggests it bears some resemblance to and has some of the virtues of the real deal--spoiling my otherwise delicious act of nutritional sin. I mean, your tortilla chips are actually pretty good. Everything else was fine. The fake cheese was not.

Thanks for listening.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Why Wikipedia is great

I doubt Britannica includes a section titled "Gallery of notable taquerias."

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Acts in American lives, according to Google

Searches done on "X acts in American lives," where X is replaced with the ordinal term (first, second, etc.), quotes are included, and the comma is not. 1 is added to all values to facilitate the logarithmic plotting of searches which returned 0 hits.

Monday, April 16, 2007

It's Reeve, dammit!

I just read an Annu. Rev. Neurosci. article by an esteemed professor. In the Acknowledgments section of the paper, he and his coauthor thanked the "Christopher Reeves Foundation" [sic] for financial support. Come on, people! If they give you money, you should be able to get their name right! It's R-E-E-V-E. No "S" at the end. Ok?

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Boston

Did Boston overreact here?

Possibly.

Do I nonetheless hope Turner Broadcasting gets in as much trouble as possible?

Yes.

Why?

Because maybe big financial consequences in this case will force any company considering guerrilla, viral, "non-traditional," whatever marketing bullshit to reconsider. Hey marketers: When you deface our cities, try to be oh-so-clever, transparently try to create a curious buzz--it does not make me want to buy your product. It just pisses me off.

See also, Peace, Love, & Linux. How many more servers did that sell, fuckers?